the Journey

Another hill taken today

Another barricade removed!.

Today is the 5th year anniversary of a vicious attack on my husband.

He was stabbed 3 times by a poacher and left for dead.

Why?
Someone thought deer antlers were more important than someone's life!

Today is also the opening day of pheasant season - just as it was 5 years ago. 

Even before the attack, I would stay home on this week-end to help Marvin

and to make sure hunters stayed out of our yard and out of our buildings. 

A few weeks ago, I promised my friend, Penny,  that I would help her
when the crew from the Covenant Church came to redo her roof. 

My mistake was that I promised . . . not knowing the date. 

This morning I was so angry that the crew chose November 13th.  

I almost backed out and was thinking of calling to say so.  

But - I was preempted. 

Penny called ME first to make sure I was coming. 
I think she had an inkling of my emotional state.

Last night's dream

Under construction.  

Today's devotional really 'spoke' to me today.  Especially after my vivid dreams during the night.  It was based on Ps 84 - which is below.  


But first to my dream.

I dreamt that my parents had a new huge house. 

There was room there for ALL their children, grand-children

and great-grandchildren. 

It was noisy, but calm and peaceful. 

It was awesome. 

I've never seen anything like it and never seen Mom & Dad so content. 

EVERYONE was there!!

Did you get that?
EVERYONE was there! 
Not just the ones who are now living. 
  

Helicopters & a touch of anger on the road. .

THE HELICOPTER:  This morning as I was leaving for work, I heard a helicopter going over. 

Instead of recoiling with fear - as I have in the past due to my personal experience(s) with helicopters,  I ran out into the middle of the driveway to see if I could see it - - Just like in the old days.  Without even thinking about it. 

Two choppers flew straight over our house.  They were beautiful.   I'm healing more every day.  Thank you, Lord, for the little itty bitty steps that even I can see.

ANGER ON THE ROAD: On my way to work, I had a car run a stop sign and pull out in front of me. 

It was a wide-open intersection. 

You can see for a mile from there. 

In EVERY direction!!

What was the idiot thinking?? 

He never did get up to the speed limit and I could never pass him. 

I was furious. 

Come . . . take a walk with me.

You are going on a walk with me today! 

What??    Sure you can! 

You don't even have to get off the couch or out of your chair.

Just sit back and enjoy.

I'm excited about this walk

You see . . . . . I'm going to walk down my road for the first time in 5 years! 

I've been so overwhelmed & consumed by fear since my husband was stabbed by a

poacher (not far from my yard) that I have not been out. 

I've become a recluse.
Immobilized.
Trapped in my own house when I'm not at work.

Strange, especially since I'm a lover of nature.
Birdwatching, wildflowers, flower beds, butterflies, trees, clouds, frogs, toads,
the stars are some of my favorite things. 

I'm kind of anxious.
I hope I don't have a panic attack.
I have not even told my husband that I'm going to do this TODAY.
Not sure why.  Maybe for fear I'd back out and have to explain. 

Last night the idea suddenly came to me to take my camera along
and narrate my journey for my family and friends. 
That way I would not FEEL like I was out there walking ALONE.
I'd have all of you with me.  
I believe that was a God idea.

TODAY is the day!
It's my day off
The temperature is 75 degrees
Sun is shining
It's my kind of day . . . .
Well it used to be my kind of day before November 13, 2005

I was able to go out into my own yard and down to the road for the
first time on Monday, August 31, 2009.
Wow!  That's a year ago. 

Yeah!  It's time for the next 'step' in my journey.

My goal is to walk about 3/4 of a mile down the road to the place
where Marvin was stabbed. 

Stand there and thank God for my husband.  For the miracles of that dreadful night. 

I want to be free of the fear of that place TODAY!

My Heart

This heart                      of mine is

such a fragile thing.         Like fine porcelain.

I could set it on a shelf,    but I tend to put it rather

in the midst of life.  Thus it has been broken a million times.

Perhaps the glue with which God mends it is stronger than the

stuff of which it is made.  Knowing that His blood was shed to

make me whole, encourages me to pick up the pieces, go on,

and love again.   My heart is not a very pretty thing,

with all these cracks and mars and flaws.

But I feel.   And it is certainly much

more loving than a heart

that is never

touched

 at

 all.

--author unknown

A New Year

Another year awaits me.
It's a blank page, an unwalked road.
the pages will read  what I have gained in exchange for time,
or what I find along the way

My resolution is to remember every day
that life is too short for petty things.
That it’s important to kiss slowly, laugh insanely,
love fully, forgive quickly, count my blessings
& look for the unexpected joys purposefully.

Every day! 

You would think that I, of all people, would remember
that life is fragile, unpredictable, and like a vapor can vanish in a moment. 

But even for me, the routine grind and problems of the day
crowd out the important things of life.
It takes great effort to consciously look for the good.

I have to establish reminders. 
Something that reminds me to STOP and consider what blessings were sent my way that day.
Blessings such as when I'm troubled and someone comes along with a smile;
or maybe the breath-taking sunset on the way home.