Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Come . . . take a walk with me.

You are going on a walk with me today! 

What??    Sure you can! 
You don't even have to get off the couch or out of your chair.

Just sit back and enjoy.
I'm excited about this walk

You see . . . . . I'm going to walk down my road for the first time in 5 years

I've been so overwhelmed & consumed by fear since my husband was stabbed by a
poacher (not far from my yard) that I have not been out. 

I've become a recluse.
Immobilized.
Trapped in my own house when I'm not at work.

Strange, especially since I'm a lover of nature.
Birdwatching, wildflowers, flower beds, butterflies, trees, clouds, frogs, toads,
the stars are some of my favorite things. 

I'm kind of anxious.
I hope I don't have a panic attack.
I have not even told my husband that I'm going to do this TODAY.
Not sure why.  Maybe for fear I'd back out and have to explain. 

Last night the idea suddenly came to me to take my camera along
and narrate my journey for my family and friends. 
That way I would not FEEL like I was out there walking ALONE.
I'd have all of you with me.  
I believe that was a God idea.

TODAY is the day!
It's my day off
The temperature is 75 degrees
Sun is shining
It's my kind of day . . . .
Well it used to be my kind of day before November 13, 2005

I was able to go out into my own yard and down to the road for the
first time on Monday, August 31, 2009.
Wow!  That's a year ago. 

Yeah!  It's time for the next 'step' in my journey.

My goal is to walk about 3/4 of a mile down the road to the place
where Marvin was stabbed. 
Stand there and thank God for my husband.  For the miracles of that dreadful night. 

I want to be free of the fear of that place TODAY!

Saturday, August 14, 2010

My Heart

This heart                      of mine is
such a fragile thing.         Like fine porcelain.
I could set it on a shelf,    but I tend to put it rather
in the midst of life.  Thus it has been broken a million times.
Perhaps the glue with which God mends it is stronger than the
stuff of which it is made.  Knowing that His blood was shed to
make me whole, encourages me to pick up the pieces, go on,
and love again.   My heart is not a very pretty thing,
with all these cracks and mars and flaws.
But I feel.   And it is certainly much
more loving than a heart
that is never
touched
 at
 all.


--author unknown