Humor

WIT -SARCASM -LAUGHTER

• Light travels faster than the speed of sound. That's why people often appear brighter before they speak!
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• He can compress the most words into the smallest ideas of any man I ever met." —Abraham Lincoln
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• How many roads must a man travel down before he admits he is lost?
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• In my many years I have come to the conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress - John Adams
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• Laughing at our mistakes can lengthen our own life. Laughing at someone else's can shorten it. . . Cullen Hightower
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• I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes. ~Author Unknown
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• How come there's only one Monopolies Commission? ~Nigel Rees
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• He who believes that the past cannot be changed has not yet written his memoirs. ~Torvald Gahlin
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• “I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.” ~ Oscar Wilde
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• Why waste time learning, when ignorance is instantaneous? . . Calvin & Hobbes
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• "It's not denial. I'm just very selective about the reality I accept." . .Calvin & Hobbes
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• Don't you wish there was a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence? There's one marked 'Brightness,' but it doesn't work.. . Gallagher